Wednesday, May 7, 2014

And life goes on...

Into the forest.

Today I was leaving campus to go home, and when I walked a little ways out of the building, I saw two tiny baby birds lifeless on the concrete. They were even too young to start developing feathers. The sight of these tiny creatures instantly made me sad, and my eyes filled with tears. I came to realize that I have become extremely sensitive as I've grown older, and I'm not entirely sure why. (I even cried for just about a full day when my goldfish died last year!) I've dealt with many losses throughout the years, mainly animal-kind than human, but I think all these events just make me see just how precious life is, and how quickly it can be taken away.

I'm constantly concerned about the amount of time I have to cross off items on my bucket list, and I feel anxious thinking about it, worrying that I won't be able to do any of it. I'm just about 21, yet I'm already in a life crisis! I want to learn everything, see everything, experience everything, but I feel as if the time I have is too limited. Just writing about it makes me realize that I'm of course being ridiculous, but am I really? 100 years doesn't seem like enough time to do the things I aspire to do, especially as I stay in school, attempting to earn a degree. Then, move on to a job where I spend most of my daily life. 100 years is cut short to a fraction with the  time I will spend working, then how much free time will I have? (Hoping I live to see that 100th year.)

But that is the problem, isn't it? We are too focused on the daily routine, a stable job that we probably don't even enjoy, and a life that we aren't enjoying to the fullest. We need to be more spontaneous, more free spirited, and definitely less fearful of the unknown. I am especially afraid, and worry too much of my time, when I'm not even certain of anything. And I'm just wasting my time, thinking about the time I won't have! We need to live life to the fullest because our days could be cut short at any given moment. Or, we can keep on living the same routine, and life will go on...

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